Aviary Technician Tales: An Unexpected Downside…?
It’s a given that every job has its upsides and downsides. Upside; getting discounts on all the merchandise in store. Downside; cranky customers acting like being sold out of a product is somehow your fault. And so, it goes for every job ever created. I truly believe that. However, when I started working as an aviary technician at Bevy of Birdhomes, my thoughts were only filled with the idea of looking after delicate birds; cleaning their aviary homes, while listening to gentle songs of gratitude. How could such a job possess anything even remotely negative? Okay, sure, dealing with bird droppings was a contender for a downside at first, but, as it turns out, the droppings aren’t really that gross. In fact, (spoilers) the downsides that I was soon heavily acquainted with, had nothing to do with the aviaries or the birds at all.
Here’s the thing, most of the aviaries are located in assisted living homes. That’s fine, I enjoy talking to older people; hearing about the crazy amazing lives they’ve had. It makes me feel like my generation misses out on a lot. That’s a story for another time though. Anyway, one day I was working in the memory care portion of such a facility, I think I was cleaning the windows—almost finished and ready to release the birds. Another successful day! However, when I stood and turned around, what did I see but the bare hindquarters of a resident. She was slightly bent over, intentionally mooning me. I didn’t know what to say, I was shocked and somehow embarrassed. All I could do was duck my head and pick up the cloth I had dropped as a nurse swooped in, calmly scolding the woman, “Susan! What have I told you? Now pull up your pants, please!”
They were able to coax her away, but the damage was done. I stumbled over to my phone in a trance and texted my boss with sweaty hands: I NEED A RAISE.
A couple minutes later, came her reply: Why, what happened?
A resident MOONED me!!
There was no response, I knew she must be laughing. As I thought about things more, I started to laugh as well; to the point where my face was pink, and I had to dart to a nearby bathroom in order to be respectful. The first downside of this job (for me at least) was the four minutes of agonizing shock and emotion I experienced upon seeing something so completely unexpected. As it happens, this is something that I now consider a sort of upside, a hilarious memory that I look back on and laugh. Boy, do I laugh. But don’t think that was the end of it, as I said, I have become well acquainted with such hysterical downsides. It’s all part of the job!
